If No One Will Listen
by gothicorca1895
Summary: The young Lord Shen of Gongmen City had everything that his mind wanted...but nothing that his heart needed. Pre-movie. FINAL CHAPTER UP!
1. A friend

**If No One Will Listen**

_Part I_

Being a prince, an only child, and the sole heir of a wealthy and powerful family sounded like the ideal scenario for any young child. But for Prince Sheng Li of Gongmen City, it was both his everyday life and his worst nightmare.

And, of course, it was so BORING.

Sheng Li – or Shen, as he was more commonly known – wanted to be anyone but himself. And it wasn't his so-called elite life that spawned his unhappiness, either; of course he was perfectly content living in a palace and having servants at his beck and call. He enjoyed things like playing outside with his nanny, who was the court soothsayer, and taking kung fu lessons from Master Thundering Rhino. When he wanted a new toy or a more elaborate game to play with, his request was almost immediately granted. Yes, Shen had everything that his mind wanted – but nothing that his heart needed.

For one thing, he was sick a lot, thanks to his being born an albino with a practically nonexistent immune system. It seemed like once a week he would wake up feverish, or get a horrible stomachache from just one germ getting into his food. But when he was healthy – or whatever "healthy" meant for someone like him – people still TREATED him like he was ill and fragile. They lowered their voices so as not to damage his delicate hearing, and some even spoke slowly and over-enunciated each word. Morons. Shen wasn't slow; he had a quick wit and could think quite well for a five-year-old. He had always been that way. That was why his Nana had given him his nickname – "Shen" meant "deep thought."

His Nana was the only one who really took care of him. She fed him, bathed him, and made sure he didn't get into trouble. For a long time, Shen had been ignorant of his real parents, not understanding that all of the other children in Gongmen were being raised by a Mama and Baba instead of a Nana. Eventually, he had learned about his parents, the peacocks who ran the city. But to him, "parents" was an abstract word that referred to the remote presences he never saw. Shen's concept of normality had been twisted; he hadn't understood that regular children didn't get sick all time, had other friends to play with, and were loved by their birth mothers and fathers.

These days, though, he had long since realized that something wasn't right.

Whenever he was taken out into Gongmen, he would be urged to go play with someone his own age – but every child he came across acted like he had a deadly, contagious disease, and mocked him rather than played with him. There were children in the palace, too, the offspring of guards or nobles or servants, but they found him even stranger than the city kids. Even when families from outside of Gongmen came in, for festivals or vacations, Shen was gawked at and endlessly reminded that he was wrong, wrong, wrong. His color was wrong; his size was wrong; everything about him was wrong, and no one could seem to get around that. "Everyone is different," his Nana always reminded him.

Well, some people were more different than others.

And sometimes, while Shen milled about the palace, he would catch glimpses of the world behind the walls through the windows; he would see families walking together, happy families with children that looked like their parents, and parents that loved their children, and everyone was healthy and happy and didn't seem to have any problems. He wondered why they were happy when he wasn't. He wondered what they had that he didn't.

Nothing about today seemed to deviate from the norm. It was a hot, humid morning in early summer; bees flounced about the last pollen of the flowers in the courtyard, and Shen was seated by the well, listlessly rolling his ball back and forth. The soothsayer, his nanny, stood back a ways, watching him pretend to play.

"What's wrong, my prince?" she finally asked.

The ball rolled against the well and was caught up in a patch of rough grass. Shen didn't bother retrieving it.

"I have no friends," he declared unhappily.

The soothsayer sighed. "You will find some, dear heart."

"Nuh-uh," Shen couldn't help but contradict. "Everyone in the palace thinks I'm weird! Even the other kids from outside-a Gongmen call me 'bad color, bad omen'!" Shen hated to be called "bad color, bad omen." Supposedly, the fact that he was white while his parents were blue was a foreshadowing of darkness that would come upon the city. He wasn't even quite sure that he understood why being white was such a big deal, but it had long since been drilled into his head that he was wrong, wrong, wrong.

His nanny was still trying to be vainly optimistic. "Nevertheless, there must be someone who – "

"You don't get it!" Shen yelled, scrambling up, his still-developing head feathers bristling. The soothsayer flinched. "Nobody's ever gonna wanna play with me, Nana! Never EVER!"

She placed her hooves on his shoulders, catching his eyes pleadingly. "Shen, calm down…"

Shen tore away from her angrily, running across the courtyard. His progress was hindered by his enormous robes, and he looked altogether awkward and laughable, but his frustration was still clear. The soothsayer didn't even have the heart to go after him and reprimand him for his behavior; she understood his anger well enough. She settled down by the well, sadly watching the chick that was practically hers as he trundled through the flowers.

Once Shen saw that his Nana wasn't following him, he hitched up the long hem of his robe with hands masked by oversized sleeves and began stomping through the gardens of the courtyard. It was nearly deserted out here today; the only other people he saw were servants, pruning bushes or sweeping paths, and one lone wolf cub – one of the guard children. He always steered clear of the wolf pups. They usually snickered at him if he happened to pass by them, and he figured that they might decide to push him around if he tried talking to them. He did know a bit of kung fu, from his lessons with Master Thundering Rhino, but he was still in no position to fight with children who were older, bigger, and stronger than him.

The puppy he saw was running around erratically – chasing something, by the look of it. Butterflies? No, bees! Shen rolled his eyes at the stupidity of the situation. Didn't the cub know that when you chased bees, you got STUNG?

He turned his attention back to the flowers, admiring the blue and green and purple blossoms and their vivid colors. He wondered if he would get in trouble if he tried to pick one. He would never pick the white flowers, though; anything that was white couldn't be as beautiful as things that had color. Anything that was white was a bad color, bad omen –

Something barreled into him.

Shen cried out, tumbling face first into the nearest flower bed. Sprawled out on top of him was a lithe, furry form that was much heavier than he was. He struggled to free himself, but he was completely pinned, and his weak body wasn't adequate to escape. Finally managing to lift his head a bit, he saw what had knocked him over: it was the crazy wolf cub.

The puppy shifted a bit, shook his head, opened his eyes…and then immediately scrambled up when he saw what he had run into. "Oh, um, um, I'm very sorry, um – my prince!" he flailed.

Painfully, Shen pulled himself to his feet (having a bit of trouble finding his feet inside his huge robe). "You…don't have to call me that," he muttered.

The wolf cub had now raised himself to all fours, and his eyes flitted back and forth in confusion. "Um…my lord…?" he tried again.

Shen bristled. "I'm not a lord and I never will be! I'm too…" He trailed off.

"…little?" the pup finished. "Oh, that's just cause'a your age! You'll get bigger!"

"No, I'm too…" Shen struggled to remember the word his parents always used. "Sick-ly. I'm too sick-ly."

The cub blinked in confusion. "Well, you look fine to me! You're just a different color!" He grinned, his bushy tail wagging. The few fangs in his mouth were quite blunt, and many of them were missing, creating spaces between his teeth. He couldn't have been much older than Shen. "I think your color is cool!"

Shen was thunderstruck. "Cool? But it's…wrong?"

"There's no wrong color," the cub responded. "They're all special in their own way."

Shen's feathers drooped a bit; that sounded an awful lot like something his Nana would say to make him feel better. "But…none of the other chicks look like me…"

"That just makes you cooler!"

He was secretly quite pleased by that, although all he said was, "I'm not cool, though. I don't have any friends."

The puppy shrugged. "Neither do I."

Shen's head feathers went up in curiosity.

The two boys settled down into sitting positions on the grass, almost without realizing it. "How come you don't have any friends?" Shen asked.

The little wolf cub didn't seem too bothered by not having friends, unlike Shen. "I don't go out much."

"How come? Are you sick-ly too?"

"No, Mama and Baba are palace guards. I gotta be trained to be a guard too."

"They should still let you go out! My Mama and Baba are the rulers of the city, and they still let me go out! But…" Shen looked down, drooping quite a bit, as always happened when his parents came up in conversation. "They don't have time for me…"

"Oh, that sucks," said the puppy brightly. "Mine don't have time for me either."

"Who takes care of you, then? Do you have a Nana?"

"No, I take care'a myself!" He stood up proudly, this time only on two legs, although Shen was soon to learn that he wasn't too fond of this position and was much more clumsy when he wasn't standing on all four feet.

"Oh," said Shen thoughtfully, then added, "I have a Nana!"

"The bearded lady?"

"Yeah!"

"Oh, I seen her before. Isn't she a soupsayer?"

"SOOTHsayer!"

"Oh." The cub's ears lowered a bit in embarrassment, and he grinned sheepishly. "Heh. I hearda those, too."

Shen got to his feet, straightening his baggy robe. "She's really smart," he declared. "She can see the future and she knows all kinds a stuff!" He looked the other boy in the face and smiled, the last of his reservations dissolving. "Wanna come meet her?"

The soothsayer was just beginning to wonder where Shen had gotten off too when she saw the boys trundling towards her. She watched as her familiar little chick pointed at her, chattering happily to someone that she didn't recognize. One of the guard children, by the look of it.

"Shen, who's this?" she asked, standing.

"Nana!" Shen ran up to her, his stride so adorably awkward in his giant clothes that she couldn't help but smile. "This is…uh…" He suddenly realized that he didn't even know the wolf cub's name.

"I'm Xun," the puppy offered, rising back to two legs from all fours.

"He's one'a the guard kids," Shen said.

The soothsayer was overjoyed beyond belief. A broad smile overtook her face. "You made a friend?"

Shen's eyes widened. "Huh? But we're not…" His voice faded.

Xun smiled, strode forward, and put his arm around the peachick's shoulders. "Yeah, he made a friend."

* * *

_A/N - This story was based on a roleplay between me and my friend Jordan and was originally posted on deviantART after gaining attention through some pictures I did._

_Guide to Names:_

_Sheng Li - Shen's full name; means "victorious, of high success"_  
_Xun - the name of the wolf boss/boss wolf; means "swift and fast"_

_Oh, by the way, I don't own Kung Fu Panda. I bet you're so surprised to hear that._


	2. A question

**If No One Will Listen**

_Part 2_

For the rest of the afternoon, Shen played a game with Xun that he had seen other children playing before, called "tag." It involved a lot of running and poking each other and then running the other way. Shen wasn't all that great at it, since he couldn't run fast for long before he started huffing and puffing, but Xun made sure to slow up for the scrawny chick.

Shen was having the time of his life. He wasn't lonely and bored anymore; he finally had someone who wanted to play with him and didn't think of him as a "bad color, bad omen." He couldn't have cared less about how tired he got; he was having FUN.

As the sun began to set, Xun and Shen both flopped down on the grass, happily exhausted. "Boy," panted Xun, "that was fun."

"I know," wheezed Shen. "I never played tag before."

The wolf cub examined the sky thoughtfully. "It's getting' late. Are your mama and baba gonna come get you soon?"

Shen shook his head. "No, but Nana will."

"Oh. I thought maybe your parents came'ta see you at night and put you'ta bed…"

He felt his heart constrict. "No. They never come see me."

"Shen?" the soothsayer was approaching them. "Bath time, my prince."

Shen made a face.

"I better go home." Xun scrambled up, showing his blunt fangs in a goofy grin. "Bye, Shen. Am I gonna see you tomorrow?"

"Uh-huh!" exclaimed the peacock chick enthusiastically.

"Shen!" the soothsayer called again, impatience budding in her voice.

Shen began to scurry away, but he looked back at his no friend one last time. "Tomorrow," he said firmly. "It's gonna be the best day ever!"

For once, Shen was in a good enough mood that he didn't throw a tantrum or try to run away while the soothsayer drew his bath, but it still wasn't any easier for his nanny to scrub him down.

"Oww," he whined as his bare tummy was scraped by hard bristles. "That hurts! Don't we have any OTHER brushes?"

The soothsayer sighed, replacing the brush on its shelf. "We have a sponge," she replied, "but you always complain that it tickles."

"Tickle is better than hurt!" he declared indignantly.

She rolled her eyes, dunking the sponge in the washbasin. "Now, hold still," she instructed, and set to work on his stomach again.

Almost immediately, Shen began giggling and squirming, sending up small splashes of water to spritz her. "Shen – !" she shouted as her glasses were splattered. "I said hold still!'

"It's not my fault!" he cried. "All our brushes suck!"

The soothsayer lifted her chick into a towel and bundled him up tightly. "It is not polite to say 'sucks,' Shen."

"Xun says it."

"Well, that's up to Xun's parents."

Shen felt a twinge at the mention of the word "parents," but he didn't say anything about it. That is, he didn't say anything about it until after he had been dressed in his oversized sleep robe, when his Nana was tucking him into bed. He wondered if Xun's parents were kissing him goodnight right now, if they did so every night.

"Nana?" he asked softly.

The soothsayer lovingly stroked his feathers as she pulled a quilt up to his chin. "Yes, my prince?"

"Do Mama and Baba love me?"

Her eyes widened. She hesitated noticeably. Then she quickly answered, "Of course they do."

"But why don't they ever come see me?"

She bit her lip. "Well…they are very busy."

"Xun's parents are busy, too, but they still make time for him…"

The soothsayer was lost for words. She had always known that this day that come, that Shen would eventually begin to question the extent of his parents' attention towards him. And though she knew the real answer to his questions, it wasn't something that she could tell him. The truth was nothing that a five-year-old child could hear.

"They don't love me, do they?" Shen murmured.

"Yes, they DO," insisted the soothsayer.

He rolled over, turning his face away from her. She could tell that he didn't believe her.

She heaved a sigh, blowing out the candle on his night table. "Good night, baby. I love you."

She never did get a reply.


	3. A confrontation

**If No One Will Listen**

_Part 3_

The next morning's sky was heavy with damp gray clouds. Rain seemed impending. Shen hated rain; it meant that he had to stay inside, and his nanny acted as if a single drop would be poisonous to him. Maybe that was why he felt so glum when he woke up.

He tried to snap himself out of his melancholy. After all, he'd finally found a friend; he and Xun were going to play all day together; it was going to be the best day ever…

"You'd better get outside while it's still dry, darling," said the soothsayer as she dressed him. She smiled knowingly. "I wouldn't want you to miss out on spending time with your new friend."

Shen listlessly agreed, and soon enough he was back out in the courtyard. Xun was there, too, dashing among the flowers as he had been yesterday, chasing – what else? – bees.

"You know, you'll get stung if you do that," Shen pointed out once his Nana had let him go.

"Will not," replied Xun, barely glancing over at the chick. It wasn't out of spite, however; the puppy was simply too enraptured by his "prey" to look away. His ears and nose twitching furiously, he finally clamped his fuzzy paws around a bee – only to pull back with a shriek.

"OW!" Xun waved his stinging hand as if the pain would fly off of it.

"I told you!" declared Shen indignantly, crossing his arms.

By this point, Xun had begun to cry, as any young child that just got stung by a bee was apt to do. "Mamaaaa!" he wailed, tears rolling down his furry cheeks.

Soon enough, an armored she-wolf hurried out from behind the palace wall, looking alarmed. "Xun?" she exclaimed, running towards the two boys.

Shen stood back – the palace guards had always made him a bit nervous, even though he knew they wouldn't hurt him – and watched as Xun's mother scooped him up. "Chasing bees again!" she sighed. Her voice was gruff and growly, as were most wolves', but she sounded gentle and loving as she smoothed the fur of her still-crying son. "There there, dear…let me kiss it," she offered, tenderly brushing her lips against the sore spot on Xun's finger. He sniffled.

Shen's eyes were widening more and more as he watched Xun being given parental love. He felt a pang in his chest.

"We should put some medicine on that. You can play with your friend later." The wolf mother shifted Xun in her arms and headed off, not sparing Shen a glance. So she didn't see that the peachick's face was twisting, that there were tears flooding his eyes. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore and dashed out of the courtyard, sobbing.

The soothsayer's eyes widened when she saw her chick coming, bawling and so upset that he nearly tripped and fell several times. "Oh, no…baby, are you hurt? Are you sick?" she cried, kneeling down to pick him up.

"Waaaah…" For nearly a minute Shen could get out nothing but sobs. Then he managed, "M-Mama and Baba don't love meeeee…"

The soothsayer sighed, her heart twinging. "This again, my prince?"

"You don't understand!" Shen was nearly screaming now, his voice holding more than a hint of hysteria. "Xun g-got h-h-hurt and his m-m-mama came right out and t-t-took c-c-c-care of him! M-my m-mama would NEVER do that!"

"If you were…" the soothsayer started, then stopped herself, her eyes narrowing. If Shen was what? He had been hurt, he had been sick, he had been on death's door, and yet that had hardly captured his parents' attention. Of course she knew why; of course she understood her lord and lady's decision, but she never had and never would agree with it, because she could see the consequences: what they had left their child with.

Every day, she had watched her bright and perceptive little chick wondering and hurting more and more. It was time to end this.

"All right. That is enough, my prince." She drew out a handkerchief and gently dabbed at Shen's tears. "We are going to see your parents…and you are going to stay there for a while."

Shen squirmed wildly, trying to escape from her arms. "No…nooooo!"

"I said enough." The soothsayer's voice was soft, but firm. "We're going now. I'll pack your things and bring them over later."

"Don't make me go, Nana!" sobbed Shen, who was quickly nearing incoherency. "They hate me!"

"Baby, they do not…"

Shen was not to be convinced, or placatd. As his nanny brought him into the palace, he kicked and screamed and thrashed and beat his wings against her. On any other occasion, she would have harshly scolded him for such a tantrum, but right now she could tell that he was hardly aware of what he was doing. He was just desperately trying to get away – terrified of his own parents.

This had to be remedied.

When the soothsayer reached the throne room, Lord Jin was speaking to an important-looking official. She announced, "My lord, I need to talk to you."

Jin briefly eyed her in mild annoyance. "In a moment, soothsayer," he replied dismissively.

She flared, not about to take any nonsense from anyone, not even her lord and superior. "No. NOW."

Jin's long eyebrows lifted. He dismissed the official and turned to her, holding himself sternly and thunderously. "What gives you the right to command me?" he demanded.

"This is not about me!" cried the soothsayer, holding out the panicked bundle in her arms a bit. "This is about your son!"

Jin sighed roughly. "If the child is sick again, you needn't be concerned about it, I'll send the healer…"

"The boy is indeed sick, my lord," she interrupted. "But not in the way you think."

"Oh, don't tell me you think he's got a deadly disease or some such nonsense…"

Her eyes narrowed to slits. "Would you even care if he did?"

Jin blinked. "Wha…of course I would! He's my son, you know I worry about his health! Especially given his…condition."

"Prove that to the boy, who is certain that you and Ah-lam hate him!" yelled the soothsayer.

"That we hate…why would he think such a thing?"

"You've seen him three times since he was born! He's FIVE!"

"W-well, yes," Jin stammered, "but we do have an entire province to run. That's why we hired you to look after him…"

"The palace guards have an entire complex to protect," she answered, thinking of Xun, "but they still make time for their children."

"The palace guards?" Jin repeated. "Has he been playing with the guard children? Is THAT what this is all about?"

"It's about you not caring about your son!"

"Of course I care about my son! Granted, his…condition…makes it hard for us to take care of him, but that doesn't mean we don't love him…"

"His condition does make it hard sometimes," the soothsayer agreed, "but I manage."

"Yes, well, that's your only job…"

"I am not obligated to love this chick," she declared fiercely. "I do it of my own free will."

Jin's eyes were alight, and he responded just as fiercely, "Love is something you would never have to force me to feel for my own child."

Throughout all of this, Shen had been deathly, deathly quiet, although his nanny could feel him trembling against her. Now she tried to see what his reaction to his father's latest statement would be. "Shen, baby…?" she tried, gently setting him on his feet.

For a few seconds, Shen just stood there, shaking and staring at his father fearfully. He sniffled a bit. Then his teary ruby eyes narrowed in anguish…and anger.

"You're lying!" he yelled. "You're just saying that I'm a freak and I don't deserve to have anyone spend time on me! I bet if I was born normal, you would love me!"

And with that, he bolted from the room.


	4. A breakdown

**If No One Will Listen**

_Part 4_

For several long moments, Lord Jin and the soothsayer simply stood where they were, staring at the door that Shen had fled out of. Neither could think of anything to say. Finally, the soothsayer shook her head at Jin and began to head out. There were tears in her eyes.

That was when Jin found his voice, as broken as it sounded. "I didn't…I never meant for it to get this far…"

She turned to look at him.

The lord took a deep breath and slowly moved down the stairs away from his throne. "O-of course it was a shock when he hatched prematurely…when he looked the way he did, b-but…that doesn't mean we don't…"

"…love him?" the soothsayer finished, her voice rising in hurt and anger. "What would make him believe that you love him? And for that matter, what would make ME believe it? You've shown that child nothing but neglect!"

"Soothsayer, please!" Jin begged. "You know why we couldn't bring ourselves to care for him…"

She set her lips into a hard line. "I thought I did, but now I'm wondering if you simply didn't care."

"You know why!" he repeated desperately. "We couldn't bring ourselves to become attached to Sheng Li because we didn't know how long he would live! We didn't…want…the pain…"

The soothsayer had to keep from snapping. "Pain is a part of life, my lord! You cannot avoid it! You had a duty to your son, and you disregarded it simply because you thought you could cheat the ways of life! Did you think I didn't know what you were asking me to do when I became his nanny? You wanted me to cope with the agony so that you didn't have to! You wanted ME to love him instead of you and Ah-lam!"

That was too much for Jin. He slowly sank down on the steps and began to quietly weep.

The soothsayer softened and tentatively approached him, unable to keep sympathy from breaking through her anger. She did not try to comfort him, but only because she knew he would be more embarrassed than placated. Instead, she stood beside him and waited for several minutes until he finally managed to choke back his sobs and return to their conversation.

"B-bring the boy back here," Jin gasped, his chest still heaving. "I must speak with him…"

She shook her head firmly, although she kept her voice reasonably gentle. "I will not force him to, my lord," she answered. "He was terrified of seeing you today; if it upsets him that greatly, I will not require him to come here."

"Tell him that we do love him, if he will believe us…"

"I've already told him that," she sighed, "and he didn't believe me."

Jin haphazardly wiped his eyes. "Then bring him here, and we will tell him ourselves."

"Lord Jin, I already told you…"

"Please!" His hands were clasped tightly against his chest. "I…I am going to speak to my wife. We were wrong, soothsayer. We wanted to spare ourselves of the pain, and it hasn't worked at all. I must see my son…I must make it up to him…I…"

The soothsayer was torn. On one hand, she was ready to refuse, as his parents needed to see the consequences for their terrible decision. On the other hand, they already WERE seeing the consequences by having to deal with their guilt and seeing Shen's anguished state, and she didn't want Shen to grow up thinking that his parents had never cared. That would be a miserable existence, she thought. Her baby didn't deserve that.

"Once he is ready, I will bring him," she finally submitted. "But he's too upset now, and…oh…I had better see where he got off to…" Her brow creased in worry. She stood up and trotted briskly to the door, throwing back a last glance at Jin, who was still seated dejectedly on the steps with his head down.

"Goodbye, my lord," she said with only a hint of curtness. "I will see you soon." And without another delay, she set off to find her chick.

A thunderstorm was moving in over Gongmen City. Promises of lightning loomed in the distance, and the air felt almost slimy. Rain beat down upon the courtyard of the Tower of the Sacred Flame, and upon its lone inhabitant, who was in a far corner, curled up into a miserable ball.

Shen hadn't stopped crying since running away from his father and nanny. He knew how much trouble he would be in when he was found at here, as someone with his CONDITION was never, ever supposed to go out in the rain, but he didn't care and he didn't feel guilty. He felt a lot of things – heartbroken, unloved, dejected, and probably getting a cold on top of all that – but he didn't feel guilty.

A mere few hours ago, his only desire had been to spend the day playing with his new friend, but now – he didn't know what he wanted. He wanted to go inside and be warm and dry; he wanted his Nana to assure him that everything would be all right, and she would know, because Nana knew everything; he wanted his parents, wanted them to love him and hug him and promise to start spending more time with him. He didn't know what to do, and that was why he simply lay sprawled out where he was, wailing into the cold air.

That was where the soothsayer found him.

"Sheng Li, you'll get sick!" she gasped as she hurried towards him.

Shen looked up at her through so many tears that his vision wavered. He whimpered, backing up further into the corner.

She sighed, scooping him up. "It's all right, baby," she said soothingly as she felt him recoil. "Nana's here…"

"Lemme go," Shen croaked weakly, then coughed.

"Oh no…you're sick…" The soothsayer pressed a hoof to his forehead, feeling for a fever.

"Don' care!" he sobbed, then collapsed against her in a trembling heap.

She wasn't sure if anything would help him besides reconciling with his parents, but Shen wasn't ready for that and neither were they. So instead of taking him back to his parents immediately, the soothsayer carried her chick back to their room. The last stages of his freak-out ceased as she drew a hot bath for him, and his cries became those of just a broken hearted child, bringing tears to his nanny's eyes.

She gently peeled off his oversized robe, and bathed him quickly when she noticed coughs punctuating his sobs. If Shen really was getting sick from being out in the rain, the last thing he needed was to be wet right now. He didn't react to the bath, not wriggling or splashing, the tickle sponge not even bringing a twitch of a smile to his face. He just sat there desolately, crying.

The soothsayer lifted him into her arms, toweled him off, and dressed him in his nightshirt. She swaddled him tightly in a blanket and cradled him, but he seemed to be resisting any affection.

"Mama...Baba...hhhhate me..."

She pressed her forehead against Shen's, feeling hot tears track down her cheeks. "They don't, baby…they don't…"

Her poor little chick was shaking so much that he could barely take a breath. "'M sorry...didn' mean to...didn' mean...!"

"Shen, baby, it isn't your fault…" the soothsayer whispered desperately.

Shen's head bobbed, but whether he was nodding or simply trembling she couldn't tell. "Bbbbbad..." he choked out. "Was bbbbbad..."

She was quite literally lost. She only wished that his parents could see this, see what they had done. Perhaps they had only neglected him because they didn't want the pain that would come from his short life expectancy, but this was what they had left their child with.

She didn't give him a chance to protest as she cradled the chick that was practically hers in her lap, rubbing his back as his breakdown showed no sign of stopping.

"M'sorree…m'sorreeeee…" Shen was endlessly repeating. All at once, he seemed to be crying harder, aching for something that he had never known. "I want my mamaaaaa…"

The soothsayer had no idea what to do anymore. "B-baby, you're going to overheat…" she stammered. The little body leaning against her already felt red-hot with fever.

Shen didn't seem to hear her. He partially crawled from her lap, as much as he could being as weak and exhausted as he was at this point, and looked around wildly as if he had lost something. "Mama…Baba…m'sorry…come back!" he cried, reaching into the air.

She clutched at her chest in horror. Was something wrong with her chick's SANITY?

Shen couldn't even sob anymore, and he was too drained of energy to protest as he was gently grabbed and lain down. His now-sniffling nanny laid beside him, her hoof making loving circles on his tummy, which was sore from so much crying. He shivered inside his blankets, occasionally dozing off but never really sleeping, every so often mumbling out desperate pleas for his parents and apologies.

The soothsayer didn't sleep at all. All she could do was lay awake and worry about her child all night.


	5. A reconciliation

**If No One Will Listen**

_Part 5_

The following morning, Shen could do nothing but lay sprawled out on his bed, still exhausted, still feverish, and still miserable.

"Oh baby, you're sick again," said the soothsayer when she saw he was alert, immediately moving a hoof over his forehead.

"Don' care," answered Shen dully.

She sighed, and for a while nothing else was said; she brought him cool compresses, which didn't make his fever go down, and made him a cup of warm milk that he could barely stomach. Then she held him in her lap and rocked him, keeping her arms around him, and he was too starved for love not to bury into her.

Several minutes had passed before she realized that he was crying again.

"What did I do?" Shen sobbed quietly, his face buried into her layered robes. "W-why don't Mama and Baba love me?"

"They do, baby," murmured the soothsayer, stroking his feathers tenderly. "Your father was in tears when he thought you hated him."

"But why don't they ever come see me?" Shen cried.

"They…" She sighed, knowing that the moment of truth had come; she couldn't hide this from him anymore. "They don't want to get attached to you because…" She shut her eyes remorsefully. "Your life expectancy supposedly doesn't exceed your seventh birthday…"

Shen's bloodshot eyes widened as he processed this. His expression of utter horror expanded over a period of several seconds. But really, what other reaction could there be from a five-year-old boy being told that he has less than two years to live?

"B-but…" Shen whispered, "I thought I was gonna grow up…a-and…"

"You ARE," said the soothsayer firmly, keeping her arms wrapped tightly around his waist.

Shen's little face screwed up. "It's not FAIR!" he screamed.

She flinched.

"I don' wanna be sick! I don' wanna die!" Shen wailed, his shoulders heaving as he began to sob once more. "I wanna have a Mama and Baba just like everyone else!"

"Y-you won't die, my prince," his nanny stammered.

"You just said I would!" he shrieked.

"That is what the doctors predicted – but to hell with them and their logic – " The soothsayer had to keep from snarling, clutching her baby tighter, her eyes burning with determined fire. "They are not a soothsayer!"

Shen swallowed his tears and paused, considering this. He had always known that his Nana was smart. Not only did she know all kinds of things, but she could see the future as well. The doctors didn't really know what would happen in the future. Only Nana did…

"When you look in your bowl, do you see me grown up?" he asked softly.

"I do," she replied.

Shen's head feathers lifted the barest increment, as he was a bit intrigued by this notion of his future self. "What am I doing?"

"I do not have my bowl with me, child…"

"Then how do you know you see me in it?"

The soothsayer chuckled, kissing his forehead gently. "I look in it often."

Shen was silent for another minute or so as he appeared to be considering this. Finally he said, "Nana, could you please get me a glass of water?"

"Of course, my prince."

It seemed to Shen that his nanny took an eternity to leave to fulfill that simple request. She had to tuck him in, adjust his pillows, and throw another quilt over him before she was convinced that he would be comfortable for the few minutes that she was gone. He was used to getting this kind of treatment when he was sick, and it was one of the things that irritated him the most, but today he didn't roll his eyes or whine about it. He just lay there, trying to conserve his strength. He was going to need it.

Finally, the soothsayer left the room, and Shen stood up. That particular task was easier said than done; he was so dizzy that his head wobbled, and his legs felt weak and shaky. He managed to make it out of their living quarters walking; after that, he was forced to crawl just so that he wouldn't faint. Knowing that sooner or later his Nana would find him and reprimand him for this, he dragged himself up several flights of stairs with one destination in mind – the throne room.

Lord Jin and Lady Ah-lam were both indescribably distraught. At least Jin could think somewhat clearly today, though; his wife was a wreck. She had been half-crying for the greater part of the morning, cursing herself and her neglect towards their son. Jin was hard-pressed to calm her. At last, he told her as gently as he could to go to their room and lie down; he had a meeting with an ambassador coming up soon, although politics were currently the last thing on his mind.

He was sitting slumped on his throne, deep in thought after dismissing an attendant, when he heard the sound of tiny talons clicking against the polished floor.

Jin's head swiveled sharply, and sure enough, there was Shen.

The lord's breath caught in his throat. His son looked terrible – his eyes were bloodshot, his feathers ruffled, and it was clear just by looking at him that he hadn't slept all night. He was shaking from fatigue as well as fear, and all in all seemed to be just barely holding himself upright.

"S…son?" Jin blinked. "What's wrong? A-are you sick?"

Shen gazed at his father with large, pain-filled eyes that gradually brimmed with tears, and he looked down. "N-n-Nana says that when she looks in her bowl, she sees me grown up…so I'm not gonna die…so you can love me now, right?..."

Jin was absolutely floored. There was no emotion that could describe how heartbroken he was at hearing those words.

"Sheng…L…come here…"

Nervously, Shen shuffled forward, his face twisting as he tried to keep in further tears. Jin hesitantly reached down and scooped up the child, holding the feverish little body close. He brushed the chick's head with his long feathered fingers.

He was holding his son. Five years, and now he was really holding his son for the first time.

He lowered himself on to the throne, keeping Shen cradled in his lap. Shen sniffled, raising his arm to suck on the baggy sleeve of his robe. This was a self-pacifying habit that the soothsayer was trying to break him of, the same sort of thing as thumb-sucking, but Jin didn't know that. All he knew was that the simple little action reminded him so much more that this little boy was barely older than a toddler.

"Baba…" Shen whimpered.

"I'm here," murmured Jin tearfully, rubbing his son's back. Shen coughed, his temperature seeming to escalate a couple of degrees in only a second, but he buried into his father as if trying to absorb this rare moment of affection.

Jin softened, growing a bit calmer. "You're sick, son," he said, and instructed a nearby servant to bring him a cool compress.

Shen coughed again. "I was out in the rain yesterday," he admitted, head feathers back.

Jin's heart sank. "W-what?"

"I was sad…'n I thought nobody loved me…so I ran outside in the rain…"

"But the rain!" exclaimed Jin in alarm. "Your condition!"

Shen sniffled, his eyes brimming with tears again at the mention of that word. "Didn' care…"

Jin said nothing, only closed his eyes and continued to hold his son. It was his fault that the child was sick now. If only he hadn't been so arrogant yesterday…

"Do you still hate me, Baba?" Shen asked in a quavering voice.

"I NEVER did…" Jin made his embrace tighter.

"P-promise?"

"I absolutely, truly promise…"

Shen burrowed into his father's arms, his eyes shutting weakly. He was exhausted and felt awful, especially after coming all the way here. But emotionally, his heart had lifted a bit. For the first time since yesterday, he didn't want to cry.

He sank into a half-doze, only really registering a few sensations and sounds that jumped out at him: the touch of a cool cloth against his forehead, the occasional muttering of his father to the servants, the sound of footsteps approaching the throne…

"Sh-Sheng Li?"

With some effort, Shen opened his eyes. His mother was standing over him.

"Mama?"

"Sheng Li, what are you doing here?" Ah-lam stammered.

"I came to tell you that Nana saw me grown up in her bowl," said Shen, his voice faint with sleep, "so I'm not gonna die…so maybe you can love me now…"

Ah-lam gripped at her chest, tears spilling over her cheeks.

"Do you hate me, Mama?" asked Shen softly.

"No…never…!" she sobbed out, burying her face in her wings.

"I had a bad dream…I was looking for you…and you left..."

Shen's eyes had fallen shut again, but there was no mistaking the feeling of his body shifting as his father stood and handed him to Ah-lam. His mother cradled him lovingly, smoothing his feathers, and Shen happily snuggled into her at the touch. He was smiling now. "Mmm…Mama…"

She smiled tearfully, rocking her chick. Half a second later, he was asleep.

Jin wrapped his wing around his wife's shoulders, and they stood there as a family, all together at long last. But the moment could only last until he had an uncomfortable realization.

"Um…does the soothsayer know he's here?"

Both elder peacocks listened. After a few minutes, a desperate clatter of hoofs could be heard outside, along with a cry of, "SHEEEEEEN!"

They couldn't do much more besides look at each other.

The soothsayer burst into the throne room, nearly flattening several attendants as she shoved the doors aside. "Lord Jin!" she gasped. "I cannot find - !"

"Peace, soothsayer," said Jin, glad to hear that there was at least calm resonating in his own voice. "We have him…"

The soothsayer released a shaky breath. Sure enough, she could see Shen now, contentedly curled up in his mother's arms and emitting soft, gentle baby snores.

Ah-lam shook her head. "Do you mean to tell me that he actually came all the way here by himself?" she asked in bewilderment.

"And so sick, too!" exclaimed the soothsayer, a hoof to her heart. "Oh, that chick is lucky he's too sick for me to take the switch to him - !"

"He wanted to tell us that…" Jin swallowed. "That you said he wasn't going to die, so it was okay for us to love him now…"

She sighed. "I…am not surprised," she admitted. "After last night…"

Jin braced himself to hear the worst. "What had he done?"

"I was beginning to think he was losing his mind…"

He swallowed hard.

"He screamed and sobbed for you, reaching out for you as if you were there…demanded to know what he'd done wrong, why you didn't love him…begged for you both to come back as if you had just left the room…"

Jin breathed out a half-sob, recollecting how poorly Shen had looked when he had first approached them. "He said something about a bad dream…I never…"

The soothsayer was finding it increasingly hard to stay angry with her lord and lady. After all, she thought, there was no such thing as an unforgivable crime if the person was sorry, and Jin and Ah-lam were just about as sorry as it was possible to be. And they had not only seen the error of their ways, but also begun to repair some of the damage they had done by showing their son love. Shen was sleeping peacefully now, because of them.

"He can stay here for as long as he wants," Jin declared, then cleared his throat to get rid of the quiver in his voice. "We will take care of him…"

The soothsayer smiled. "He needs to be with you for…a while. He needs time with you and his mother." She pursed her lips, a bit unsure about suggesting this, but she knew it was the best thing. "I have been looking to visit relatives outside of Gongmen," she began cautiously, "and perhaps now is the time…"

Jin seemed uncertain about this. All he said was, "The boy isn't going to like it. He's never been apart from you."

"Which I must remedy." She sighed. "As much as I care about him, I know that it isn't healthy for him to depend on me being there every second of every day. It's best to have him understand this at a young age. It is best that I leave now, while he is sleeping…please tell him that I'll be back in a week."

"You're not even going to say goodbye?"

"He would never let me leave and everything would be ruined if he was awake to see me go…"

Jin hesitated, but nodded. "Whatever you feel is best," he said. "Take your leave; it is well deserved. Ah-lam and I will take good care of Sheng Li…"

She smiled again. "That I don't doubt. Goodbye, my lord. I will see you soon."

"Farewell for now, soothsayer," Jin replied.

The soothsayer approached Shen, who hadn't budged an inch during this entire conversation. My poor tired baby, she thought lovingly. Ah-lam crouched down so that she could give her chick a kiss on the forehead and whisper, "I'll see you later, my dear." Shen hardly even stirred.


	6. A hallucination

**If No One Will Listen**

_Part 6_

Shen was so exhausted that his not-so-little nap lasted for nearly four and a half hours. At some point, he surfaced briefly and realized that he was in bed, but this knowledge had barely dawned on him when he was out again. Finally, in the middle of the afternoon, he managed to open his eyes.

For a long time, he wasn't sure where he was. Somewhere in the palace, definitely, but he had never been in this room before. It was nearly as lavish as the throne room, but much more roomy than the quarters where he lived with Nana. He himself was laying on what appeared to be sheets hewn of silk, on the fluffiest pillow he had ever felt in his life. But where was he?

He stayed where he was for several minutes, blinking sleepily, until his father peeked into the room to check on him. Upon seeing that the peachick was awake, Lord Jin smiled and went to sit by the edge of the bed.

"Morning," he said gently.

Shen yawned. "It's morning?" he mumbled.

"Just an expression, child," answered Jin, still smiling. He reached over to stroke his son's head feathers, and Shen nuzzled contentedly against the touch. "How are you feeling?"

Shen shrugged. He was still pretty dizzy as he tried to sit up, but he could definitely feel that his fever had gone down, if it hadn't broken completely. "Better."

He realized now that he must be in his parents' quarters; the royal chambers. He looked around again with wide and no longer red-rimmed eyes. Everything here was so fancy and beautiful, and yet here he was, wrinkling priceless sheets and sprawled out in his oversized and very plain sleep robe. Despite being the prince, he had never been here before; he supposed his parents hadn't wanted a bad omen in their room. He almost drooped at this thought before following it up with the fact that he was in here now – probably brought by his parents themselves, not Nana.

On that note – where WAS Nana?

"Looking for something?" asked Jin.

"Nana hasn't come to get me?" Shen said cautiously.

"Um…yes…" Jin looked down, rubbing a bit at the back of his neck. "She, um…has gone away."

"She LEFT me?" cried Shen, mortified. Losing his Nana was his greatest fear. Sometimes he even had nightmares about her packing up and leaving in front of him, never to return.

"Easy, son." Jin placed his hands on Shen's shoulders and squeezed reassuringly. "She has gone to visit some relatives outside of Gongmen. She'll be back in a week."

Shen breathed out, slightly calmed. At least Nana wasn't gone forever. But a week was still a long time; at least, to a five-year-old it was. "Who's gonna take care of me, though?"

"Your mother and I," responded Jin, smiling again.

"But…aren't you busy?"

"Not too busy for my son."

Shen sniffed doubtfully. They always had been before…

Jin reached down and lifted up the boy's chin so that they locked eyes. "Not too busy for my son," he repeated, more firmly this time.

Shen considered this, thinking about all of the things he had contemplated over the past few days – things that parents were supposed to do with their children. If his parents were really going to take care of him, then maybe they would be willing to act like they were a real family. "Are you gonna play with me?" he asked.

"Yes," promised Jin.

"Can you tuck me in and say goodnight when I go to bed?"

He pulled the child into his lap, cradling him lovingly. "Yes."

"When I get better, can we go on a picnic?"

"A picnic? That sounds like a wonderful idea."

Shen immediately brightened at the prospect of a picnic. "I'm better!" he declared, hopping out of bed immediately. Unfortunately, he wasn't as better as he wanted to be, because he was soon reeling from dizziness.

Jin gently scooped him back up and laid him down again. "Not yet you aren't," he contradicted gently. "Sleep, son."

"But I already went to sleep!" Shen complained.

"Yes, but I've heard you didn't sleep very well last night. You need to get some rest."

"Fiiiiiiine." Shen reluctantly submitted, but he climbed into his father's lap instead of staying in the bed. He didn't know why, but he felt a lot better just knowing that someone who cared was near him – it just seemed to be what he needed after dealing with last night's major emotional trauma.

Jin didn't mind his son's clinginess one bit. If anything, it reassured him that Shen wasn't angry or frightened of him and Ah-lam anymore. He sat there contentedly and smoothed his son's white feathers. White wasn't such a bad color after all, he thought. In fact, when Shen was so peaceful-looking like he was now, the white seemed to be almost beautiful, radiating purity and happiness.

"Baba?" Shen spoke up just before falling asleep again.

"What is it, son?"

"Do you love me?"

"More than anything…"

"Does Mama love me?"

"Yes, very much."

"You wouldn't ever wanna get rid of me because I'm not normal, right?"

Jin barely restrained a gasp at this, and immediately wrapped his son up in a tight hug. "Never…never…never!..." he exclaimed.

Shen yawned sleepily, seemingly satisfied. "I love you, Baba…don' ever leave me…" he mumbled, and dropped back into slumber.

This nap only lasted about an hour, though; after that, Shen once again awakened, this time to find his mother there. "Look, Sheng Li, I've brought you a set of dominoes," she said, showing him a small wooden box filled with elaborate tiles. Shen was delighted, although he couldn't seem to stop getting his mother to address him by his full name.

That sick day was one of the best that he could remember. Besides not feeling too poorly after sleeping so much, one or both of his parents was always around to keep him entertained. They told him stories, played games with him, and made him his favorite foods for dinner (although he didn't have much of an appetite). He was almost sad when it was time for him to go to bed for real, until he remembered that he had another week to spend with his parents.

It turned out that there was another small bedroom in his parents' quarters, which had been intended for Shen until he was signed off to the soothsayer. The servants had made up a bed mat for him in here. It was still done up in pastel colors and fluffy shapes, though, decorated for the baby that it never saw.

Shen had the pleasure of both his mother and father tucking him in that night, but in an unfamiliar room and in the aftermath of a breakdown, he was afraid of being by himself and almost cried until Ah-lam agreed to sit with him while he fell asleep. He clung to his mother's robes while she sang him lilting lullabies, until his eyes finally closed and he fell asleep, feeling comforted and loved.

The night did not pass without incident, however.

At some point during the night – or really, very very early the next morning – Shen woke up in his strange bed feeling…funny. All foggy and light-headed. He didn't like it at all, and with quite a bit of difficulty, he crawled out of his room and into his parents', where he blearily nudged his mother until she awakened.

"Hmm? Wha…?" Ah-lam sat up groggily, seeing her chick crouched by the side of the bed and seemingly half-asleep. "What is it, my dear?"

"Mama, I feel funny," Shen mumbled.

She lifted a wing to his forehead. "You have a fever again." She frowned, glancing over at her husband, but he was still heavily asleep and snoring. With a sigh, she said, "It doesn't feel too bad; I don't think we need to get the healer. For now, Sheng Li, dear, why don't you sleep with Mama and Baba? We'll make you feel better…"

"Kay," he muttered, and tried to crawl into bed, but his arms gave out and he fell flat on his face. Ah-lam scooped him up and tucked him in beside her; he instinctively snuggled into her, reassured at feeling his parents nearby. Even though he really didn't feel any better, he was calmer now that he wasn't alone, and fell asleep again.

About two hours later, both Jin and Ah-lam were awakened by a heart-wrenching sound: their son crying.

Shen was laying sprawled out in bed, hardly able to move, sobbing quietly. Even a brush of contact against him was enough to register that he was burning up with fever. "Baby? Baby, what's wrong?" cried Ah-lam.

"D-d-d-don'…f-f-feel…g-g-g-good…" Shen choked out.

The lord and lady exchanged a glance. Shen was sick all the time, and seemed to have gotten fairly used to it; if he was crying about not feeling well, then something might be majorly wrong.

Jin quickly got up and headed off to find the healer, while Ah-lam held her chick close and murmured, "All right…it's okay, Mama's here…calm down, Sheng Li, you'll make yourself even more feverish…"

Several minutes had passed in this manner when Shen suddenly jerked in her arms. "Mama? Mama?" he cried out.

"I'm here," said Ah-lam soothingly, rubbing his back, but he didn't seem to hear her.

"Mama!" Shen called desperately, writhing against her. "Mama…no…m'sorry…please come back!..."

Ah-lam's eyes widened in alarm and horror. "Sheng Li, darling, I'm right here!"

"I soreeeeee!" Shen wailed, collapsing against her in a limp, broken heap. "Mama…come back!"

Mortified, she kept him enveloped in her arms, trying to reassure him that she was there, but he neither heard her nor sensed her presence. The poor thing was overheating himself, bawling until he was nearly too hot to hold, but his mother didn't dare put him down. It seemed like an eternity before Jin finally returned to the room with the healer in tow.

While there were of course many healers within Gongmen, as well as within the Tower of the Sacred Flame itself, the preferred physician for the royal family actually came from a small village outside of the city. She was a panda named Lady Biming, who had attained some fame throughout China for her skills, and was a friend of both the peacocks and their court soothsayer. During Shen's very early years, from birth up until the age of three, she had been the one who came in from her farming settlement to give him daily or weekly injections and doses in the hopes that he might live past his normal life expectancy. These days, she could still take care of the peachick's health better than anyone else.

"Where is the child?" was the first thing she asked when she entered the room, and her green eyes shone with concern when Ah-lam tearfully gestured to him. "Poor baby…what's wrong, my prince?" she asked, kneeling down to the chick's level, smoothing his feathers back. Her hands were enormous, but gentle and steady from years of practiced healing.

Shen didn't respond to the touch, only wailed incoherently. A few muddled "m'sorry"s were audible in the mix.

"He keeps begging for me to come back, but I haven't left!" Ah-lam sobbed. "Doesn't he realize I'm here?"

"He's burning up with fever, milady," Biming responded. "I think he's hallucinating. But don't worry, we'll soon set him straight."

For the next hour, Biming worked steadily, gently inserting acupuncture needles into her patient and having him gulp down the occasional herb or elixir. She also made sure that he drank plenty of water, so that he wouldn't become dehydrated from the fever and the crying. Shen's sobs grew quieter and weaker, and eventually stopped altogether. Finally, he opened his eyes and appeared to see the room around him.

"M-Mama?" he croaked, looking up at her.

Ah-lam sobbed and clutched to him. Shen looked vaguely confused.

"Whazzgoinon?" he asked groggily.

"You…" Lord Jin groped for words. "You had a bad dream, son."

"Oh." Shen curled into his parents and shut his eyes.

Biming smiled. "That will be all, darling. Go back to sleep."

Shen was out before she even had a chance to finish saying so.


	7. A visitor

**If No One Will Listen**

_Part 7_

The entire family slept in much later than normal the following morning – OVERslept, in the case of Lord Jin and Lady Ah-lam. When an attendant finally came to their room to see what was keeping them, they had missed one early meeting with an official and were already perilously late to another. Jin was the one who got up and hurried to this latest appointment, leaving his wife to sleep with the baby.

Ah-lam awakened late in the morning, but Shen didn't even show signs of life until early in the afternoon. He had had a very emotionally traumatizing couple of days, which had left him exhausted and still shaken from the ordeal. But he was on the verge of healing. After five long years, his parents were finally giving him the love that they had withheld; they had decided to trust their court soothsayer when she said that Shen would survive to adulthood. In fact, they felt foolish for not ever consulting her on the matter before.

Shen was listless that day; he didn't feel energetic enough to play and still slept a great deal. His parents brought him food, but he would only take one or two bites before complaining that his stomach hurt too much for him to eat. After his meltdown last night, his parents were of course extremely concerned, but Lady Biming came to give him a checkup later in the day and said that it was nothing to worry about. "Just give him time to rest," she said, "and he'll be fine."

But in fact, Shen wasn't fine until the next day.

After a not-nearly-as-stressful night (although Shen did refuse to go back to his room, clinging to his parents and crying when they told him it was time for bed), he was still oddly vacant and tired-looking the following morning. In between trying to balance their royal duties, Jin and Ah-lam were debating whether or not to call the healer again when they were confronted by an unusual visitor.

At a bit after noon, there was a knock on the door to their quarters. A servant opened it to reveal…a scruffy wolf cub.

"Um, h-h-hi," the puppy stammered. "S…somebody told me that Shen was here?"

The servant distastefully eyed this little furball, who looked as if he had been prancing through the mud left by the recent rains. "Prince Sheng Li is ill," he announced grimly. "He is not taking visitors right now."

"Please! Just for a minute!" the cub begged.

"Who's at the door?" Jin approached the servant, looking down in curiosity and a bit of disgust when he noticed the child standing there, his tail and ears twitching in nervousness. "Who are you?"

"Ummm…my name is Xun," the pup managed. "I'm Shen's friend. I haven't seen him in a couple'a days and I wanted to know if he's okay…"

Jin paused for a moment, thinking this over. "Wait here," he instructed, and disappeared back into his quarters.

A few minutes later, he reemerged, looking slightly bewildered. "Come in," he told Xun. "But make sure you wipe your feet!"

Shen had been laying in his parents' bed, sinking in and out of a half-doze, when he heard his father ask, "Son?"

"Yes, Baba?" Shen yawned.

"Do you know anyone named Xun?"

The effect was immediate. All at once, Shen looked more energetic than he had in days. No, more than that; he was ELATED. "Xun!" he exclaimed excitedly. "Is he here? Is he?"

"Uh, yes," answered Jin, more than a little taken aback by son's enthusiasm. "He's waiting outside…do you feel well enough to see him?"

"Yes!" Shen shouted, with the broadest smile his father had ever seen on such a tiny face. "Yes, yes, yes!"

Shen was thrumming with happiness as his father led Xun into the royal quarters. The puppy was wide-eyed as he gazed at all of the opulence around him; the guardhouse must have been extremely humble compared to this lavishness. But when he saw his friend, he grinned, revealing those familiar blunt fangs. "Shen!"

"Xun!" Shen's head feathers raised happily as he sat up as best he could. "You came to see me!" He could hardly believe it.

"Course I came'ta see ya." Xun sat cross-legged on the floor beside the bed, still with that goofy grin on his face. "You were gone for a really long time, and I didn' know where you were. Mama and Baba told me that you were with your parents, so I figured, it was wortha shot to try and come see ya…"

"I'm glad you did." Shen was simply beaming. "I thought you'd forget about me…"

"I would never forget about you! We're friends!" Xun scampered up to all fours, his tail wagging happily. "Besides, you need someone to talk to ya while you're sick!"

Shen giggled. "Yeah."

"So, what're you doin' with your Mama and Baba anyway? I thought you said they didn't have time for you."

"They didn't…but…" Shen heaved a sigh and began to explain.

It was hard for him. Not only was he too young to truly understand everything that had happened to him, but he felt pain just talking about the distressing events of the past few days. It was like there was a big bruise on the inside of his chest, one that was starting to heal now but still hurt whenever he thought about it. Even upbeat Xun had lowered his ears by the time the story was finished.

"M'sorry about all that happenin' to you, Shen," the puppy said sadly.

Shen shrugged. "S'okay. It doesn't have anythin' to do with you."

"So, your Mama and Baba are bein' nicer to you now? You're bein' like a family?"

Shen nodded vigorously, brightening a bit. "Uh huh! They play with me and tuck me in at night and take care of me…Baba says that once I get better, we're all gonna go on a picnic!"

"A picnic? Cool!" Xun grinned again, showing his rounded-off puppy teeth. "Can I come?"

"Lemme ask. BABA!" called Shen, so loudly that he broke off into a coughing fit.

Jin hurried into the room, thumped his son on the back until he stopped coughing, and finally responded, "Yes, Shen?"

"Can Xun come on our picnic?"

Jin looked at the scruffy cub, recalled how concerned he had been about Shen and how excited Shen had been to see him, and had to submit with a sigh and a small smile.

"I'll see what I can do."


	8. A picnic

**If No One Will Listen**

_Part 8_

For the next few days, Shen gradually rested and recovered, being entertained by his parents and by Xun's frequent visits. Eventually, his cough retreated back into the dark corner of his lungs where it always seemed to wait to pounce on him, and he stopped running fevers. He was able to get out of bed and play slightly more active games when Xun came.

Jin and Ah-lam could tell that their son had a bad case of cabin fever after being kept inside for so long, but they didn't want him to go outside – not yet, anyway. They were waiting for the right moment to usher him out and show him…his surprise.

Finally, one day at around lunchtime, Jin approached his son as casually as he could and said, "Why don't we go outside for a while?"

"YEAH!" Shen cheered, practically running circles around his father. He had built up a lot of nervous energy over the day; Xun hadn't come to visit yet, and his parents had been popping in and out for some reason, so he'd been bored out of his mind. He tugged at Jin's robes, urging him to go faster and faster as they headed to the courtyard; the lord couldn't help but chuckle at this. Of course, knowing what he knew would happen when they reached their destination was also putting a large smile on his face.

The weather was absolutely brilliant that day, showing no evidence of the rain that had been turning everything into mud earlier in the week. The sun was high and bright, there wasn't a cloud in the sky, and the flowers seemed to be in their glory, splashing the courtyard with a hundred shades of red and green and blue…and white. Shen happily trotted past his father as best he could in his oversized robes, elated to be out of pajamas and breathing in the fresh air for the first time in what felt like forever to him…which was when he spotted something unusual in the middle of the manicured lawn.

It was a picnic! Or rather, it was THE picnic, the one that he had been fantasizing about since his father had told him that it was a good idea to have one. There was a worn but colorful quilt spread out over the grass to sit on, lots of delicious-looking foods stacked high on porcelain dishes, and standing nearby with a knowing smile on her face and her usual wise glint in her eye was…

"NANA!" screamed Shen in delight, running towards her as fast as he could.

The soothsayer smiled, kneeling down so that she could envelope her chick in her arms. "It's good to see you again, my prince," she chuckled, and she made a point of kissing his forehead and tickling his tummy until he giggled to her satisfaction. "Have you been good for your mama and baba?"

"Oh, he's been no trouble at all," answered Jin, smiling as he approached the site of the picnic.

"I missed you, Nana," said Shen, not letting go of his hold on her robes.

"I missed you too, baby," she responded, ruffling his head feathers lovingly, "but I'm glad to see that you seem to have had fun with your parents."

The soothsayer wasn't the only person waiting at the picnic; Ah-lam was also there, as well as Xun and his family. The wolf guards were muttering something about "first day off in ten years, and it's just because of the prince," but Xun was, if possible, even more ecstatic than Shen. Of course, Xun had a naturally hyper disposition anyway.

The picnic was a complete success, especially considering that it was Shen's first outing in a week. He and Xun played tag and playfully wrestled each other among the flowers, despite the calls of their parents not to roughhouse so much. The soothsayer discussed in great detail with Jin and Ah-lam the events that had occurred while she was gone. Though the notion of Shen hallucinating with fever worried her, she was pleased to see that he had bonded with his parents very well and not caused any major trouble. Hopefully, this would be the start of a beautiful new relationship.

But there was a problem still. Lord Jin and Lady Ah-lam had enjoyed the week with their son very much; they no longer felt guilty about neglecting him and didn't fear that he wouldn't live until adulthood (after all, the soothsayer had never led them astray before). But that didn't change the fact that they were still very busy with running Gongmen City. The week had been hectic for them as they struggled to both give their sick son the attention that he needed and attend to their duties.

"I'm not sure what we'll do," Jin told the soothsayer quietly, glancing nervously at Shen to make sure that the peachick was unaware of the conversation. "Of course we don't want to go back to ignoring him, but we simply cannot be there twenty four seven…"

"I never thought you would be," the soothsayer said gently. "Of course I knew that I wouldn't stop being his nanny anytime soon. And for that matter, I wouldn't stop being his nanny even if you ordered me to." She chuckled.

"You've done a wonderful job taking care of him," Jin said. "And he's very attached to you, of course. But he's enjoyed having us around, as well, and we want to be there for him…"

"Then that is what you shall do," she declared. "Be there for him when he needs you. There are many of us around to help with the child's upbringing; you will never have to feel like it is all up to you."

Jin smiled.

Shen was back near the patch of flowers where he had first met Xun just over a week ago, the place where all of this had started. He was bobbing the blossoms on their stems with his little hands, once again admiring all the colors: red, purple, blue, yellow, green…and then those pesky white ones were thrown into the mix.

He sighed. It seemed that all of his problems had been solved but one. He had found a friend, his parents had proven that they loved him, his Nana was back, and he wasn't sick anymore – but he was still white when he shouldn't have been. He was still wrong, wrong, wrong. He was still a bad color, bad omen.

He wondered if the white flowers ever felt like he did: like they didn't belong, trapped in a world of color that always outshone them, everyone passing them by simply because they were different. Despite the picnic and everything being resolved, Shen couldn't help but to still feel left out – overlooked by the world.

The other flowers were pretty, though. He wondered if he could pick some to make bouquets for his parents and Nana.

"Baba, am I allowed to pick these flowers?" he called, turning towards the quilt spread with the remains of their lunch.

"Of course you are, son," Jin called back, standing up and making his way over. "But what on earth do you need them for?"

"For presents," Shen explained, beginning to pluck the stems and making three matching little piles. Each one had a red flower, a purple flower, a blue flower, a yellow flower, and a green flower…

"You aren't picking any of the white ones," Jin noted with confusion, halting his son in mid-pluck. "Why is that?"

Shen scowled, his head feathers lowering bitterly. "White means bad color, bad omen."

Jin was rather jolted at this, though he was careful not to show it. "No it doesn't…"

"Yes it does! Everyone says so!"

"White can be just as beautiful as the other colors, Shen." Jin knelt down and gently removed a single white blossom from the mass of plants. "If you think about it, it's even MORE beautiful. White is the color that stands for purity, innocence, and perfection."

"But what if somethin' isn't supposed to be white, and it is?" demanded Shen. "What if there's a white flower, and all the other flowers have color and are much prettier? Doesn't that make the white flower a bad color, bad omen?"

Jin lowered the blossom into his son's hands. He knew that they weren't talking about flowers anymore.

"Maybe the white flower is different," he stated. "But that doesn't make it bad. The white flower could prove itself outstanding; it could be the best flower of them all. All it would have to do is try, and stop thinking that it's bad because of something silly like a color. I bet that if that flower really wanted to, why, it could be the greatest ruler that the city has ever known…"

Shen wanted to cry again, but this time from happiness. In this roundabout way, he had gained his father's acceptance, something that he'd thought he would never see.

Without warning, Shen threw his arms around his father (or at least, as far as they would reach). Jin was slightly taken aback at first, but after not very long at all, he returned the embrace.

"I love you, Baba," murmured Shen, sniffling.

"I love you too, son…" Jin took a deep breath. "Shen, I think there's something you should know. As much as your mother and I have enjoyed having you this week…well, we really are very busy, and we can't look after you all the time…"

Shen drooped immediately, sniffling more. "Does…does that mean things are just gonna go back to the way they were?"

"No," Jin promised firmly. "All it means is that Nana will still be the one taking care of you. But we won't ignore you. We'll come visit you as often as we can, or you can come visit us, and whenever you need us, we'll be there."

Shen clutched his white flower, hastily wiping away the tears that had gathered on his sleeve. "P-promise?"

Jin embraced his son, nuzzling him affectionately, and said, "I absolutely, truly promise."

* * *

_A/N - I know I really haven't been putting author's notes on this story_, _but I felt like I needed to in this case because I'm sure someone is going to think that this is the end. It is not. After all, if Jin kept his promise, then we wouldn't get psycho genocidal kill-it-with-fire Shen, now would we?_

_This is the last regular chapter, and there's an epilogue after this. However, this story is now going to be the first in a series of three. I'll explain more about that next time._

_Until then, thanks for your continued support! Special thanks goes out to Cryssy-miu, the writer of "Redeeming Light," who was the other person in the RP on which this was based (I was Shen, she was pretty much everyone else XD) and to Domenic, the writer of the infamous "Life and Times of Lord Shen" who both requested and promoted this story! And as always, I appreciate your generous reviews._


	9. Epilogue

**If No One Will Listen**

_Epilogue_

But of course, things don't always work out as planned. More often than not, promises become meaningless and forgotten.

Lord Jin and Lady Ah-lam never seemed to lose the habit of paying their son no mind. Within a few weeks' time, they had gone back to basically ignoring him, and Prince Sheng Li's recollections of the time they'd spent together seemed like nothing but ancient nostalgia. He grew up still feeling like a bad color, bad omen, cast aside even by his own parents. He wasn't entirely loveless, of course – his friendship with Xun never swayed, and his Nana never left her role as his adoptive mother, much to his increasing chagrin as he grew older. But he still felt alone, and a lump of pain grew bigger and bigger inside of him every day.

Shen began to block out the world. He started refusing to show weakness, refusing to cry, refusing the efforts of anyone that wanted to help him. He never showed the sheer amount of pain he was in. Occasionally there would be a particularly nasty incident of some sort, and his parents would weep and swear that now things were going to change and that they still loved him, but their promises were invariably broken. Eventually, he stopped believing them at all.

Growing increasingly bitter, Shen had turned to experimenting with fireworks for comfort by the time he was in his teens. He trained very hard with Master Thundering Rhino, especially in armed combat, convinced that knives and swords in a deadly hand would be the key to covering up his weaknesses. The idea became fixed in his head that if he became the greatest ruler that China had ever seen, his parents would finally show him the respect that he deserved. And so his ambitions began to stretch beyond the boundaries of Gongmen City. And with alarming rapidity, the darkness took over…

By the time anyone realized what was happening to him, it was too late. Shen had already assembled a personal army of wolves, headed by the reluctant but still unceasingly loyal Xun, and taken it upon himself to make his own future when the soothsayer predicted one that was unsatisfactory. He was banished and slipped into the miserable existence that his Nana had never wanted him to have: certain that his parents had hated him all along. And in due time, he was defeated by the foretold warrior of black and white.

But "defeated" didn't necessarily amount to "killed."

On the outskirts of Gongmen City, there was a small burial ground, which contained the graves of nobles, kung fu masters, and anyone royal who had died. This was the place where Lord Jin and Lady Ah-lam had been laid to rest after their untimely deaths. This cemetery was nearly always deserted, but today two figures were working their way through it, shrouded by the early morning mist.

The first figure was an albino peacock who was no longer "sick-ly," as he had unhappily declared himself so long ago. The feathers of his fan tail – as magnificent as his fathers', though quite a bit more unique – trailed behind him in a train. His ruby eyes were fixed straight ahead as he walked stiffly towards his destination. At one point in his life, those eyes had been cloudy with insanity and repressed pain, but not anymore. The only thing readable in his clear crimson irises now was guilt.

Behind him trotted a remarkably ancient goat who had never lost her slyly wise look. She was still dressed in layered robes and spectacles, although now she also carried a sturdy walking stick. Despite her gloomy surroundings, the optimistic glint in her eye never wavered; nothing could smother how proud she was of her baby for finally being ready to do this.

Shen was breathing deeply to keep himself calm, his eyes darting from side to side in visible nervousness. He wasn't supposed to be anywhere close to Gongmen, and he knew it. In fact, he was supposed to be dead. The townspeople had no idea that he was actually leading an entirely new life somewhere else…but that was a different story.

Even without the potential danger of being spotted, he still would have been petrified, and the soothsayer of course noticed how tense he was. "Darling, relax," she said softly, placing her hoof over a hand no longer hidden by oversized sleeves.

"I…" Shen sucked in a deep, shaky breath. "How can I?"

"It's all right," she assured him, giving his wing a comforting squeeze. "I'm here."

"I still feel like they'll be disa…" He swallowed before his voice had the chance to break. "Disappointed…"

"They have no reason to be anymore…"

"Yes they do!" Shen cried. "None of this would have happened if it wasn't for me! They'd still be - !" He had to cut himself off, because he couldn't bear to say "alive." Oh, how he wished that his parents were still alive, that he could see them one more time if nothing else – but they were never coming back, and that was his own fault. His vision began to swim.

"Shhh…" the soothsayer urged him. "They do not hold that against you.

"How do you know?" he demanded hurtly.

She smiled. "I'm your Nana. I know everything."

Shen tightly clutched the two items that he had brought with him in the hand that she wasn't holding, backing to taking shaky breaths and staring at his parents' graves. "How can I do this…"

The soothsayer said nothing, only smoothed his feathers like the loving surrogate mother that she was.

Finally, he knelt in front of the graves, bowing his head. He was trembling faintly. "Mother…Father…" he murmured, his voice barely audible.

His nanny got to her knees beside him and gave him a small, encouraging smile. She reached over and rubbed his back, urging him to continue.

"I know it's too late," continued Shen, hardly able to do so, "but I came back…"

"It is never too late, dear," the soothsayer told him. "Besides, they're dead; it's not as if they're going anywhere…"

He reached over and placed the first of the two items on his mother's grave. "Mama…you might not have raised me, but you were still my mother…I was never grateful enough to you…"

Swallowing several times, he placed the identical second item on his father's grave. "Baba…you thought I could become a great ruler, leading Gongmen the way our ancestors had…I'm sorry I let you down…"

The soothsayer sighed, never ceasing to stroke his feathers, even though she knew it would be of little comfort to him now.

The words were becoming harder to pull. Shen had thought of a million things he'd wanted to say, but now they all seemed to be flying out of his head. There was only room for grief in his mind.

"I'm sorry I turned out the way I did…" he managed. "I'm sorry we didn't h-have m-m-more time t-together…a-a-a-and…"

Shen was unable to hold back anymore. He lowered his face into his sleeves and began to sob.

The soothsayer had known that this had to be coming. She wrapped her arms around her child and held him (as well as she could; he was so much bigger than her now), humming to him and rubbing his back as he choked out barely coherent apologies to his parents, so much like the little chick that she had known so very long ago.

No one from the city knew that the former Lord Shen had been at the cemetery that day. No one saw him, but if they had, they might have watched as, after several minutes, he finally swallowed his sobs and simply stayed kneeled in front of the graves with his head down and his eyes closed. They might have noticed the soothsayer, who would maintain her role as his nanny until the day he died (or she did), and they might have seen as both of them finally rose and made their way out of the graveyard, heading back toward their unlikely home.

They left no trace of their ever being there, except for one.

A white orchid had been placed on each of the graves, because white was not a bad color, bad omen.

FIN

* * *

_A/N - Okay, that is the end of the story, but do not despair! I know you have many questions, such as "Why is Shen alive and not evil at the end?" Enlightenment is coming, my dear readers._

_You see, this story is only the first in a series of three fanfictions. The other two won't be entirely about Shen's childhood like this one was, but since everyone seems to have enjoyed having sad baby Shen rip their hearts out so much, flashbacks are going to feature prominently throughout. The sequel to this story will be coming very, very soon, so if you're interested in it, add me to your author alerts or check back often._

_Thank you for making my first full KFP fic not a complete and total failure! Look, I almost have thirty whole reviews up there! I know this was short, but I can and will write longer in the future. (I wrote a 73,000-page novel; I'm used to writing a lot.) So, I hope you enjoyed, I appreciate your generous reviews, and I hope I'll see you next time._


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